Paradise Circus
by BabyKay47
Summary: A collection of one-shots. Third: Ginger Biscuits. When Simon discovers a pee stick in the rubbish bin, how does he react?
1. He Knows Why

A/N: So I just discovered Simon/Alisha. I marathoned Misfits about a week ago and I have all these feelings that I just had to write something. I. just. can't. even. with these two. I seriously teared up a bit as I was writing this just thinking about how heartbreaking their love story was. But it hurt in such a good way.

And then there just isn't enough Simon/Alisha fanfic so I thought I'd add my two cents. I think in this week I read all the fanfic there is and I just want MOAR. Hopefully, this will turn into a collection of one-shots. I've already got ideas for a couple of more. Love it? Hate it? Please hit me up with a review!

* * *

He knows why. The question that has been eating away at him ever since he'd heard about his future self—the question that always had him wondering what the future would bring—for him…for her…for their love…the question that had him choose the power to see into the future…

Why does he go back? Why does he go back to die? Why does he go back to save her only to watch her die in his arms?

He knows the answer now. It's because he doesn't want to live another moment without her.

His future is their past. There is nothing for him in the present. The thought of taking another breath when she lies in a cold unmarked grave is painful to him. He needs to see her again, feel her in his arms again, if only for a short while. He is ready. He knows that they will only have a short time to be together, but it's all he wants. It's enough for him. More than he deserves maybe.

He knows that he's done it before. He wonders how many times. Has he ever had any doubts? He doesn't have any now. It's his destiny. He will do it again and again times infinity—for an eternity—just to be with her, to give her just a little more time.

How long has he known? He's suspected. When she had cried and begged him not to wear the suit and mask ever again because she feared he'd leave her…in their future…with his death…he suspected. There was nothing that could make him leave her. Except one thing. The one thing that he didn't want to think about. The thing that gave him nightmares. Kept him awake at night wondering if it was just a dream, or was it his power trying to warn him?

He should have known better. He can't help the guilt. If only he had tried harder to gain control of his power. If only he had stepped out of the shower room first. Why hadn't his future self warned her? He'd asked her thousands of questions about his future self. Most she hadn't had the answers to. But she had been able to tell him what his future self had said about why he'd gone back. To save her. To die. And yet, he hadn't been able to save her. He had had to watch her die in his arms. Watch as the light faded from her eyes and his dreams for the future turned to dust.

He had wanted to take her back to Vegas, this time without Nathan in the very next room, and maybe propose to her. He had begun to think that maybe there was something to married life, not that either of them had had good examples, but if it meant spending the rest of his life with her, then it was something worth contemplating. And there were so many little things that he had wanted to do. He had been looking forward to her teaching him how to drive, and the inevitable argument that would have followed. Which would have promptly been followed by rough and tender make-up sex. And he would miss waking up with her, watching her put on moisturizer after a shower, and asking him what bow he thought she should wear in her hair, only to get exasperated when he told her that it didn't matter what she wore, she would always look beautiful to him.

Why doesn't his future self tell her not to go to the community center that day and avoid Rachel and her vengeance? But can he give her that burden? Give them both that burden of knowledge? If he tells her, then she will spend the rest of her life knowing when she will die, the way he does now. It is an awful feeling. Knowing he will do it for the greater good doesn't help his fear. He doesn't want to die. He wants to grow old with Alisha and maybe have some children and grandchildren. But knowing it is impossible makes him feel trapped. It is a lonely feeling. He knows that when he goes back he will be watching from the sidelines, living like a ghost, visible, but invisible, never to be seen for who he really is until almost the end. He had been invisible once, and he doesn't want to be that person again. He doesn't want her to feel that way about her life. To feel trapped, and scared, and alone. He doesn't want her to be afraid of what the future holds, or worse, fatalistic about it. She had hope for the future once, their future, hadn't wanted to believe in the Terminator time paradox bullshit, and had almost convinced him not to believe in it either. He didn't want to take that away from her.

And he can only imagine that there must be some reason why his future self doesn't tell her; he just has to trust what he knows about what has happened in the past and embrace his destiny. He knows exactly what will happen if he goes back…but he doesn't know what will happen if he doesn't. If he doesn't, Alisha could live, but what if she doesn't? And his friends, Nathan, Curtis, Kelly, and even Rudy, they could all die, too. He could risk it, but if he fails, he won't get a reset button. He could choose not to go back, or to try to change the past, but he won't. If his short life has any meaning at all, it is because of Alisha, and he cherishes every moment with her, wants to relive every kiss, touch, fight, conversation, meal, text, look, date, emotion, scent, breath, dance, et al., ad infinitum.

He will go back for her. He will die for her. Everything is in place. He has gotten the power to travel the dimensions of time from Seth. He has said his goodbyes. He has packed the photo of them together in Vegas. The future is close. Time is about to begin again.


	2. Spontaneous Emission

"I want to come in your pussy and impregnate you!" he cries out once when their frantic heavy petting leads to her cheek accidently brushing against his chin, activating her power and unleashing the fucked up shit in his head.

She pulls away immediately and the look on her face scares him.

"Oh, god, Alisha. I'm so sorry. What did I say?" He's so filled with shame he can't even look at her.

Alisha shakes her head, and tries to smile, to reassure him that what happened wasn't his fault, but he's afraid that what he said was too terrible for her to forgive.

"No, you don't have to tell me." Simon concedes, not wanting to hurt her any more than he thinks he already has. He's still so shy an unsure about her, as if he's just waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to get tired of him and break up with him. It makes him really eager to please. It's one of the things that has her falling in love with him even though he's so very different from the future Simon.

"It's ok," she tells him, "It wasn't like that it. It just really surprised me."

"What was it?"

"You told me you wanted to get me pregnant."

Simon's eyes widen with shock. "I did?"

"Yes, you did. But I don't think I mind…I can't help but wonder what they would look like…" She's also girlishly scribbled what her name would be if they got married. _Alisha Bellamy. _Or _Alisha Bailey-Bellamy._ But she doesn't tell him that. She thinks she's falling in love with him, but she hasn't even told him that, so marriage might scare him. Not that babies aren't scary enough, but he brought it up!

Simon swallows hard. "You've thought about this before?"

Alisha nods. "A little. I mean, how gorgeous would our kids be?" That manages to bring a smile to his lips.

"I've thought about it, too," Simon confesses. "But not right now," he adds.

Alisha agrees. "It would be quite difficult anyway, seeing as we can't touch."

"I definitely would want to remember getting you pregnant." And then he swallows hard again his ears turning red, embarrassed from his admission.

But Alisha laughs. "I'd want you to remember, too."

They pull away from each other then, straightening up clothing and smoothing back stray hair, and Alisha realizes that despite her sexual frustration she doesn't mind her power so much this time. If she hadn't had her power, she probably would have shagged Simon silly by now and grown bored with him. But now because of it, she's forced to take things slow and get to know him first, something she's never bothered to do with any guy before. And even with Curtis, even though she couldn't touch him either, sex was still a major component of their relationship. She supposes that the difference is because even though Simon isn't technically a virgin anymore, he's still so uncertain and nervous with her that he doesn't want to force the issue as much as Curtis did. And she knows from the future Simon that she won't always have this curse, so she can wait. And in the meantime she wants to get to know Simon, learn everything about him.

* * *

A/N: Special thanks to djSoSoNut for reviewing, and being awesome enough to chat Misfits with me, so that I can get my fix!


	3. Ginger Biscuits

A/N: This is inspired by 3x06 but is completely AU. You could read it as a companion piece to "Spontaneous Emission" as they both touch on the same topic, but they are not necessarily related.

* * *

Alisha's power is gone and they've been shagging like bunnies to make up for lost time. She's filled with the need to touch and be touched, something she missed so much she had been tempted to use her powers on him without his consent. He's filled with the need to be with her, to be inside her, to make her body explode with the same pleasure he feels every time he comes, to make her forget about the other Simon, his future self that knew all the places she liked, and he's so jealous of himself, and unsure if she loves him, the present him, that he's turned pleasuring her into art form that must be studied and practiced. A lot. They're both so needy. So much so that they don't always use a condom. She has told him that she is on the pill, but they both know that no contraception is 100% effective, so they usually double bag it, except when they don't, and she trusts him to pull out and he does. He enjoys the danger of it, and he likes to see his come on her stomach, or her arse, or her tits.

Then he sees it. He had gone to throw his floss in the rubbish bin, and there it is, a pee stick. He looks around to see if she's there so he can ask her about it, but she's long since left their flat. Curtis had come by with an emergency, and she'd left with him. He thinks that if it were positive, surely she would have told him, but he has to see for himself to make sure. So he reaches down and retrieves it from the bin and is shocked to see the pink plus sign. She is pregnant. He did this to her.

He suddenly breaks out into a cold sweat and starts to feel sick. He has gotten her pregnant. It is too soon. They have only been dating for a little less than a year. They aren't ready to be parents, are they? But even though the thought of being a father makes him feel a bit sick to his stomach, he knows that he wants it. He has sometimes thought about what their children would look like, and how he would do everything he could not to screw them up, unlike his parents. And even though his relationship with his parents is dysfunctional at best, he has managed to turn out all right in the end, hasn't he? He knows that he would love their child because he loves Alisha and anything that comes from their union would be created in love, wouldn't it?

After he gets over his initial panic he begins to worry about what Alisha is thinking, what she must be feeling. Surely she wouldn't get an abortion without telling him. _She must be scared out of her mind, _he thinks. He's tempted to call her that moment and demand to know where she is and that she's okay, but he quickly decides Alisha wouldn't appreciate him turning into an overprotective caveman just because he has got her up the duff. But he does send her a text: **how's Curtis? when r u coming home?**

She texts him back a few minutes later: **tell U L8R. 10 mayB? do we need TP?x**

Simon checks. They're running low. They probably need shampoo, too. **Don't worry. I'll get some.** He decides if he's going to the shop anyway, he might as well pick up a few other things. He makes a list.

* * *

It's more like 10:30 when she gets home, and he has had to restrain himself from calling her every five minutes, but he's proud of himself for not giving into temptation. He's got the kettle on and some ginger biscuits set out on the table for her in case she's got an icky tummy. He's been doing a lot of research on the internet and he's found that they're supposed to help with morning sickness, which he realizes is a misnomer because the nausea can attack at any time of the day.

He immediately hugs her and searches her face for any indications of the transformation her body must be going through. He supposes that she's still too early in her pregnancy for there to be any outward signs, but she does seem to be glowing. He glances down at her breasts. They seem to be as big as ever. He can't imagine them getting any bigger.

"Are you okay, Simon?" she asks when she notices his eyes lingering on her breasts.

"I should be asking you that," Simon responds, immediately looking back up at her face, his slate blue eyes wide with concern. "How are you doing? I made you some tea and got you some ginger biscuits, along with some other stuff that we needed."

"Thank you, Simon. You're very sweet. But I don't like ginger biscuits…"

"I know, but they're supposed to be good for nausea."

"Why would I have nausea? Are you feeling sick?" she asks him, worriedly touching his forehead to check if he has a fever. But his brow is cool and dry to the touch.

"Don't you have something you want tell me?" he gently urges her, trying not to be too pushy, but needing to hear it from her.

"Do you mean about Curtis?" she asks nonplussed.

That gives him pause. Simon feels the blood drain from his face. It can't be. She has never given any indication that she still has any lingering feelings for Curtis. He closes his eyes and tries to steady his breathing and smooths his hair to the side reflexively, trying not to jump to conclusions. "Is there something you want to say about you…and Curtis?"

"Me and Curtis? What the hell do you mean by that?" She senses the accusation in his tone and that makes her angry.

"I found the pregnancy test in the bin!" he lets out without meaning to.

Alisha's eyes widen in surprise. "Then you already know about Curtis—"

"You and Curtis!" he bursts out in shock. "I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it for myself." He pulls away from her, his face contorted with pain and confusion. "How could you do this to me? I love you! I trusted you!"

"I didn't _do_ anything!" she yells in frustration. And then it dawns on her. The confusion, the jealousy, the damn ginger biscuits. "Wait a minute! You think _I'm _pregnant?"

"Well, if not you then who else would leave a pregnancy test in the bin in our flat?"

"It's Curtis's! He's pregnant. Or rather, Melissa is. He came to me because something was going on with his body and he couldn't figure it out. When he told me his symptoms I told him to take a pregnancy test. I happened to already have one…and the rest is history."

"Do you mean Curtis is pregnant? You're not sleeping with him—?"

"I'm not even going to dignify that last bit with a response," Alisha interrupts angrily.

"I'm sorry." Simon sighs, pulling her into his arms, relief flooding through his body. "At first I thought you were pregnant with my baby and then when you started going on about Curtis, I jumped to conclusions. I'm sorry."

"You better be," Alisha says pulling back slightly. "But I understand why you might think it could happen," she says seriously.

"I don't. Not really—"

"But it's true I've never been faithful to anyone until you. Even Curtis. I cheated on him with you. Future you. Maybe I don't have it in me to be faithful." She shrugs her shoulders self-deprecatingly.

"I don't believe that. Whatever you've been in the past, it's not what you are now."

"I hope so. I want to be a better person for you."

"I never thought you were a bad person."

"You're the only one."

"I love you." She notices that he doesn't contradict her, give her platitudes about how other people don't think she was a bad person. She appreciates that because she knows it's not true.

"So…ginger biscuits…" she says, changing the subject and looking at the plate that has been carefully set at the table for her.

Simon turns to look at them as well. "Yes. I heard they're supposed to help with morning sickness."

"Wait. You thought I was pregnant and you didn't go running out the door?" she asks, incredulously.

"I wouldn't do that to you." His slate blue eyes are filled with sincerity.

"I know, but it's a little hard to believe. Most guys wouldn't think twice before leaving."

"I'm not most guys. I mean, I was scared shitless, but after I got over the initial shock of it all, I was kind of happy." He smiles sheepishly.

Alisha can't help but smile at the silly grin on his face. "You honestly thought I was pregnant and you were _happy_ about it?"

Simon nods emphatically. "I love you. I want to be with you no matter what. But if you didn't want kids, I'd understand…" His smile falters a bit.

Alisha's smile in turn vanishes as she catches his meaning. "You mean if I wanted to have an abortion you wouldn't oppose it?"

Simon nods again, solemnly. "It's your body…"

"Don't give me that 'It's your body, your choice' bullshit," she bites out angrily. "I want to know if I had an abortion, would you still love me?"

"Why…? Have you…?" He swallows hard, he can't even say it.

"Had an abortion?" she finishes for him. He nods again. "Does it matter to you if I did?"

"Was it my baby?" he asks, gingerly.

"No!" she denies, saddened that he could think so little of her. She had in the past, but not now. Not with him.

"Then whose? If you want to tell me…?"

Alisha relaxes a little and takes a deep breath, trying not to get so upset. She has never wanted to tell him, feels ashamed of her past, always worried that the more he learns about her, the more likely he will leave her. But he already knows about her promiscuous past. He knows that she has slept with so many guys that she doesn't even know the exact number. His is two. But he hasn't left her…yet.

"It's okay if you don't want to tell me," he says after an awkward silence, interrupting her thoughts. "It's none of my business. It's part of your past."

"But I want to tell you. It's who I am. I need you to know what kind of person I am."

"You're not that person anymore," he reminds her, gently caressing her face. "And there's nothing you could tell me that would ever make me stop loving you."

"Even if I tell you that I had an abortion when I was 17 because I couldn't be bothered to use birth control and my loser boyfriend refused to wear a rubber?" She's crying now, reliving the shame and fear of it, Simon holding her helplessly. "I didn't want to tell my mum and dad, so I went to the clinic by myself. I've never told anyone about it. I didn't even tell the father because I was so afraid he'd break up with me. But I ended up breaking up with him instead."

"I'm sorry you had to go through that alone," Simon says, kissing her forehead tenderly. "But you can tell me anything. You know that, right?"

Alisha nods, smiling through her tears. "I know that now. I love you so much, Simon!" And then she's kissing him, filled with relief and gratitude that there's this guy that knows _everything _about her, has seen her at her worst, and still loves her and wants to be with her. Lucky doesn't even begin to describe how she feels.

When she pulls away, breathless and happy, Simon asks her, "So if you're not pregnant and Curtis is, how's that even going to work out, anyway? Wait! Who's the father?"

"You'll never believe it!" She can't resist spreading a bit of gossip.

"It's not Rudy is it?" Simon grimaces at the thought.

"No! Even weirder. He's the father of his own baby!" Alisha laughs at the look of utter shock on his face.

"How did that even happen? Or do I even want to know?"

Alisha shakes her head. "Probably not. I'm traumatized that_ I _even know the answer to that."

"Do you know what he wants to do?"

"He didn't say, but I know he's really freaking out about it. That was why I went with him tonight."

Simon tilts his head in the direction of the table where the ginger biscuits are still sitting on a plate. "I suppose we can give them to Curtis."

"Yeah, he—she was feeling pretty ill."

"Or…we could keep them for a rainy day…" He looks at her meaningfully.

"What are you saying Simon?" she asks, coyly.

"I'm just saying that if someday I do manage to knock you up, we'll have ginger biscuits waiting." Then he grins at her with such boyish eagerness that she feels her heart expand at the thought of having kids with him.

"I suppose I could start eating ginger biscuits…for you." And she would because she loves him so much that she knows she would do anything for him.


End file.
